Simon had been extremely dependent to his mother in everything that he does. He would always expect her mother to be the one who would remind him of his daily routine in the office. He would expect that his mother would prepare his briefs and socks. Dont be jealous to my mom Fe, its just that, I got used of having mom as the one preparing everything for me, this is what he always reasoned to his wife.
Simon, did not know how to budget his money, so instead of giving his salary to his wife, he prefer to give it to her mother because he was used to having his mother as his money keeper. Whenever problems between them arise, Simon prefers to ask the thoughts of his mother instead of resolving the conflict between them. This has getting on and on until their two years of marriage. At the moment, Fe has been planning to divorce with her husband for the reason that she seems to be the second wife and the mother the first wife.
I could say that Simon had a dependent personality disorder. This unusual dependence of a married man like him, to the mother, can be traced to the way Simon was raised. For a number of persons that I had encountered with similar problems, most of them were raised in an environment with over protectiveness. In an overly protective environment, the persons self-confidence is low and thus, (s)he is made to think that (s)he is weak, vulnerable and cant live strongly without his/her support groups.
The root of the problem is the support group of Simon-his mother. To overcome his over dependency to his mother, the latter should help Simon make decisions of his own and to teach him the right ways to deal with problems alone and even without the help of others. The mother should make the following changes to Simon slowly but persistently. Simon must realized how decisions are needed everyday and how important it is for him to decide on his own.
Case 2. Marion with the big I Stories
Marion has been my friend in high school. She had been a bubbly person; always seem conversational at a first meet. However, I had observed that shes not conversational at all. When she talks, all her stories pertain to her; that she looks good in her new dress (even though her baby fats were bulging), that many boys were having a crush on her, that her teachers were all praising her.
When you talk, she seems to care less, she did not really want to converse with you, rather, she wants you to listen to all the stories about herself stuffed with the I (I am the best speaker in our class, I had been to that place also, I am pretty, I have new dress, jewelries, etc.). Marion even during inappropriate time (like you are talking with somebody else) would butt in just to ask do you noticed something is different with me today? I had also remembered her of having loud voice; always talking of the latest movies that she had watched, talking how they share intimate moments with her boyfriend, etc.
In the case of Marion I have difficulty distinguishing what personality disorder she has. Finally, I am settled in saying that she has a narcissistic personality disorder due to the various symptoms that I had found in her. I had already mentioned above that she care less about what people say during their conversation, what matter to her is her stories to be heard. She had always overly emphasized her achievements, even the material things that she managed to acquire.
Marion is very concern of grabbing ones attention in school; it seems that when everybody hears her stories, everyone would admire her (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/personality-disorders/DS00562/DSECTION=2). The best approach for this type of person is to tell her frankly that shes a boring listener, that a conversation needs exchange of ideas. It would also help if she would be given comments in a constructive manner. The way she manipulates people is not good, she should be informed with this and be given alternatives to deal with her behavior positively,
Case 3. Solitude is my Company
The daughter of my cousin is a very sensitive person. She was already fifteen and yet, she is very shy and detached to other girls of her age. When her mothers voice rises a bit when irritated, she cant help but cry and feel that its all her fault why her mother was angry. She did not want to go out with other children because she felt, she was ugly and she would only become a mocking subject. She did not want to go near other children of her age because shes afraid of being bullied. In class, her teacher reported that shes always crying whenever she fails to remember a term during recitation. Whenever we have a family gathering, she would refuse to join the crowd and reasoned that she wants to sleep early. Shes not snob at people, shes just extremely shy.
The daughter of my cousin is experiencing an avoidant personality disorder based on my observation. There is no concrete cause for her behavior except that her parents failed to pay attention to her. She has always been alone in their house more often. She was also not brought to parties more often, because most of the social gatherings that her parents attended were formal and not suite for children of her age. Her self confidence is very low due to the lack of affirmation from her significant others. This leads her to be very sensitive to criticism, because she has always wanted to boost her moral through her achievements yet she felt like the world conspire against her even at the very simple and constructive criticism.
To avoid this, she had voluntarily isolated herself away from others to avoid rejection. The best way to deal with this problem is for the parents to spend a significant quality time with their daughter for them to explain to her the things that are new to her. The parents should teach their daughter the realities of life and the ways to deal it constructively. Maybe, the child should be taught to make friends to the neighbor first, then followed by an affirmative attitude towards her performance in school, etc.
Mayo Clinic. (2006). Mental Health. Personality Disorders. Retrieved December 3, 2007, from http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/personality-disorders/DS00562/DSECTION=2