Robert Reasoner from the National Association for Self-Esteem (2010) states that Educators, parents, business and government leaders agree that we need to develop individuals with healthy or high self-esteem characterized by tolerance and respect for others, individuals who accept responsibility for their actions, have integrity, take pride in their accomplishments, who are self-motivated, willing to take risks, capable of handling criticism, loving and lovable, seek the challenge and stimulation of worthwhile and demanding goals, and take command and control of their lives.
In other words, we need to help foster the development of people who have healthy or authentic self-esteem because they trust their own being to be life affirming, constructive, responsible and trustworthy. It is normal for all of us at one time or another, even if we think we have high self-esteem, to suffer from a bit of uncertainty and self-doubt. It is when that self-doubt and insecurity leads to other damaging behaviors that we need to stop and take a look at whether we need some counseling with either a therapist or a life coach.
A therapist would be the better route to go if the self-esteem is leading to depression or some other sort of disorder that is affecting our work and personal life on a deeper level. Self-esteem is very important to have in order to do well throughout ones life. It can make or break a person and determine how much success they achieve in their life. Without a healthy self-esteem, one may be prone to all sorts of psychological disorders. According to Psychologist (2005) one of those isorders might be an unusual large amount of stress.
All of us feel stress from time to time but it is how one deals with it that determines how it will impact their life. Low self-esteem can also lead to depression which in turn can then lead one to drug and alcohol abuse. An individual that I am related to has a severe alcohol addiction. One can tell that this individual has a very low self-esteem. This individual however, does not acknowledge this issue nor is he interested in seeking any sort of help for his addiction.
No one can help a person that does not want to help themselves or does not want to seek outside assistance with his issues. Self-esteem is not just the simple task of liking oneself although that is a part of it. It is much larger of an explanation that then. We must look at how we deal with everyday life and its challenges, can we handle day to day issues. There are struggles daily in each of our lives and how we handle them or do not handle them depends on how confident we are in ourselves, our abilities and strengths and that determines how strong our self-esteem is.
Being raised in an abusive home allows one to relate to the loss of self-esteem. With the assistance of therapy at different times over many years along with books on building and raising ones self-esteem and positive motivational books and quotes, self-esteem was able to be raised. Obviously there are always going to be small issues along the way that will make one question their choices and actions but having those tools to go back to are a great way to perform maintenance along lifes path. The trick is not everyone knows they have low self-esteem.
There are many people one encounters on a daily basis where if one has any insight to the issue of low self-esteem and psychology in general, they could sense when a person is suffering with low self-esteem and can suggest some paths to take to regain it. This can be a bit touchy too since some people with low self-esteem are going to be a bit sensitive and may take a suggestion as a criticism of them and be offended by that suggestion. Reasoner (2010) states that you cannot just heap constant praise on children or people and expect that to work in raising the persons self-esteem level.
It must be based in reality such as accomplishments that they have achieved or perhaps they set a goal and accomplished it such as finishing their education. That is something they should feel proud of and fully enjoy and enable them to raise their self-esteem. Someone with low self-esteem will most likely find a way to down play their accomplishments so as a counselor it will be important to show them and point out things they have accomplished and should be proud of. They may not recognize those things as being a huge accomplishment in their lives.
It will also be important to find out about the patients life and see where during their life things began to bring them down. More often than not a persons childhood will have a big impact on them along with a big event such as divorce or losing an important person in their lives. Its a mystery how some people can have very devastating events occur in their lives and handle it fairly well with a slight hiccup and others just fall apart and start down a wrong path that is difficult to return from.
This leads me to believe that along with your environment causing low self-esteem there also has to be some genetic factors in play as well. People are raised in the same house and grow up with similar dysfunction yet one comes out with an alcohol addiction, and the other uses the negative in their life to become a stronger person and accomplish goals that the other individual is not able to accomplish, or has the desire to accomplish. This is what I call God giving certain gifts to certain individuals. Or perhaps He gives all the same gifts but with free will one is able to decide how or if they are going to use their God-given gifts.
God gives everyone unique and special talents and it is up to each of us to uncover those and make the best use of them. He does not want to see us degrade ourselves and not consider us to be the most special people on earth that He has created. There are many useful resources available to each of us but we have to want to grow and be the best that we can be. Hopefully as counselors we will be able to assist others in uncovering their gifts and bring them up to where they should be and show them how to value and appreciate themselves.