Carla was under the impression that she had specified she wanted her favorite cake, which happened to be strawberry, but she did not, had she specified she wanted me to make a strawberry cake I would have declined because i am extremely allergic to strawberries, if I consume them Im nauseated if I touch them I break out in a sever rash. Even after Realizing that she had not requested a strawberry cake she remained upset claiming that as her best friend I should have known she wanted me to make a specific cake and I remained upset because I felt like she either didnt know or didnt care about my allergies and as a friend neither of those options were ok. At some point we were able to realize that we failed each other.
Had we communicated with one another we could have avoided an unnecessary fight. One way we could have avoided our misunderstanding would have been to actually say exactly what we wanted each other to know, Carla could have asked for what she wanted from me instead of assuming that since I know how much she loves strawberries, that Id be making a strawberry cake and I could have asked more questions about what she wanted rather than assume that because she knows my allergies she knew I wouldnt be making her favorite cake.
Another way to avoid that type of situation is to actually listen and focus on the conversation that youre having. This is where I think active listening comes into play. We werent intentionally ignoring each other but I think that our long-term friendship and assumption about how well we knew each other caused us to only listen partly as opposed to completely. In the future I fully intend to be an active listener and completely engage myself in discussions that I have.
Sole, K. (2011).Making connections: Understanding interpersonal communication. San Diego, CA: Bridgepoint Education, Inc